A Fashion Guide for Nerds: Will You Be Wearing the Internet on Your Face in 2013?

by Dusty Trice on January 16, 2013

Dusty Trice's Guide to Fashion

Fashion is “in” this year and everyone is doing it! From colors to accessories, fashion will change the way you dress forever. This guide will help you stay trendy and on the cutting edge of fashion.

The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics estimates that the average consumer spends around $1,700 on clothing and apparel each year, a small percentage of which is fashionable. Boutiques and retail stores have taken note of this trend and now sell a wide range of fashion for every consumer.

Curse of the Ice Mummy's ShoesThe world’s first shoe, an open-toed sandal,¬†was likely worn by a cavemen sometime around 40,000 B.C. Today, the average American will wear between 1-2 shoes a day. Shoes will continue to be big this season.

Dirty shirts with stuff printed on them are still “in”. You can probably just keep wearing your band shirts without washing them. Same thing with jeans. Just make them extremely filthy. This is your second 90s. Embrace it and you will be trendy.

Men’s t-shirts will continue to be impossibly thin this season. Possibly even thinner. Like, so thin it makes a perfect silhouette of your man nipples and is translucent in moonlight. Ladies love that. Thanks, fashion!

The Fashion Mannequin From ChanelI don’t know a whole lot about women’s fashions, but someone needs to make a purse with an extra zippered pocket for boyfriend things. Like, when I ask my girlfriend to put my iPhone in her purse and it gets rubbed all over a tampon or covered in makeup. That’s just gross.

Girls will still be wearing bobby pins, black elastic hair ties and scrunchies. If you plan to have any interactions with females this year, expect to continue finding those things in your drains, computers and/or vacuum cleaners.

Wrist watches that connect to your smartphone via bluetooth will be big this year. Reading your email, sexts and tweets from the comfort of your wrist has never been easier! Remember when everyone quit wearing watches and started using smartphones to help them tell time, read email and play games? Now, by connecting your smartphone to your watch via bluetooth, you can finally stop playing games and start wearing watches again. Isn’t fashion amazing?

Google Project GlassThere’s been significant buzz this season around Internet connected glasses, like Google Glass, soon to be offered by designer and fashion leader Google. Ever since Tim Berners-Lee¬†invented the World Wide Web people have been trying to wear it on their faces. Google’s Glasses are unique in that they make wearing the Internet on your face just as simple as trying to find your glasses.

Belts are “out”. Back when devices were made entirely of plastic, it was so much easier to carry them around in belt-mounted holsters. One single belt could hold up to six Blackberries, pagers or Palm Pilots at a time. But with the recent rapid adoption of glass-faced capacitive touch smartphones and lunch tray sized tablet devices, device holsters and belts are a thing of the past.

Many department stores and retailers have mannequins they use to display the latest in fashion. Mannequins were originally used to display fashions by 15th century French designers, but they can just as easily be used to display modern fashions. You can learn more about mannequins by visiting your local shopping mall or public library.

From cavemen sandals to Internet glasses, it’s never been a better time to wear fashion! So what fashion will you be wearing this season?

Other Wonderful Things:

Previous post:

Next post: